But, strangely, I've not felt compelled to commit it to "paper", rather I've seized the chance to file the memories in my mind. Similarly, I haven't been taking photos. Now, fair enough, that's partly due to a problem with our camera but, even so, I've not felt the need to capture the images, except within my own head.
As for the running, it's been sporadic. I've talked about committing to something next Spring/early Summer and, yet, my commitment to training has so far not recognised this.
Reflecting upon the times in my life when my running has been at its best, it's hard to ignore the simple fact that my greatest achievements have come either after the breakdown of a relationship, or within the early periods of a new relationship....."I'll show you" or "I'll impress you" seem to be the mantras to my limited success.
But now I find myself very much content and "settled down" (what a strange phrase to use when you love someone dearly enough to want to be with them forever...."settle"!) with the right person, who I want to spend the rest of my life with and I'm faced with a dilemma - can I summon up the motivation internally which is required to train as hard as I would like to, without those external influences?
The answer is invariably "yes", as I know only too well from my own experiences, and all that I read about motivation. That means, then, that I must examine myself to see if my commitment is sufficient to push forward with my training again. I've enjoyed not being in competition so much, and there's a part of me which would like to take all that I've done, and now turn it towards more "leisurely" pursuits, in terms of just enjoying long distance routes through the hills.
But then I get that nagging feeling....life moves on, I'm not as young as I was and, in terms of "peak" fitness, I might only have 3 or 4 years of really decent standard running left in me before I HAVE to accept a slow down. And it would be a shame to "waste" that and regret it when I look back.
What I do know is that I'm really keen to help Kirsten attain the standards she'd like to over these next few years and, at only 33, she has her best years ahead of her for perhaps 10-15 years. It's easy for me to forget that she is essentially "new" to running because of all that she's done. I'm sure most of us will acknowledge that it took us 3-5 years to really get to grips with both the physical and mental side of competitive running....and there she is having only been running for 2 years, with a large proportion of that being long-distance, which is very different. Plenty more to come from her and I'm looking forward to doing what I can to support her. A decent finish at Langdale was a fine start.
Otherwise, I'm also keen to put something back into the sport I love and, with that in mind, we've taken on the organisation of the Knockfarrel race next month. It's daunting....we have no idea if we'll have 20 people or 150 people turn up....yikes! It'll be fun though, and we'll no doubt learn a lot for future races.
So, time I think to decide if I'll commit to a winter of decent training with a summer of real achievement next year. There's no halfway house, I'm either going to do it or I'm not and I'm well aware that there will be plenty of nights where I'd rather stay in but have to push myself out the door. Watch this space......
This blog is dedicated to my pin-up girl, my bargain playboy bunny :-)
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